Dec 28, 2011

The Feral Cat Memorial 2011

At the end of the year, I take some time to remember kitties of have passed away in the last 12 months. It's a very difficult thing to do every year but this year seems even harder. This year's list is shorter than last year's, but the names on it are all too familiar and tragic.

Kay Kay : 1995-2011
 Kay Kay was my sister's cat... the family cat, really. She was originally rescued by my children from abandonment as a kitten. They grew up together. She was a pet and a good kitty, and is missed. At least she had a good life.

Punk Tom - b. 2003-ish  died October 21, 2011
A star in this blog; featured on the cover of the 2009 calendar and appearing frequently ever since, Punk was a unique-looking feral cat. His appearance made him look fierce but he was really a very shy boy. The cause of death is unknown but he was losing weight at the end and spent his last hours in the warmth of the house. Remember him when you see his picture on the calendar: We'll never see his beautiful face again.

Bobtail Tortie - 2004-2011

Appearing in some popular posts, bobtail tortie was the sister of Lowjack, whom we lost last year due to coyote predation. Bobtail was sick before she died, like Punk Tom. Like Punk, she spent her last night indoors - at least she had a little warmth.

Beige Cat - ? to 2011
Next to Punk Tom, she was the most unusual looking cat in the feral colony. We don't know what happened to her but her loss is more than likely due to coyote predation. Another sad end to a unique life.

The others I have to mention in this memorial weren't feral and had too-short lives. They should have had homes, instead they have burial sites. This is why I feel like I can't do this anymore. In fact, it's hard for me to even write about this.
Wishe, Rescued Kitten - lost July 6, 2011
 Poor Wishe, she was the sister of Spot. They were both abandoned and rescued together. Wishe was part Maine Coon and a beautiful cat. We kept her in at night but she was allowed out during the day.  One summer day, she did not return. We hunted and called, to no avail. It broke my heart. She would have been a great pet for someone but she was stuck here - and that cost her everything.

Florida, rescue kitten - April 5, 2011 - November 20, 2011
 Poor little Florida was the sister of Georgia (a tortie) and Squeaky (a tuxedo cat) and the tamest of the bunch. She loved people. She died of unknown causes although we suspect some kind of poisoning. We'll never know. It was all very sudden. She would have been a perfect pet if someone had only cared enough to adopt her. Her sisters Georgia and Squeaky are still here with us.

Feral Kittens
Life is very hard for feral kittens. Disease, possibly feline leukemia, took this entire litter one by one. Most of them were gone before we knew (what with them being feral and all) but we tried very hard to save the last survivor....
Tiny Tabby
 Such a beautiful boy!  I wiped myself out with vet bills and days and nights of care trying to save him - all to no avail. Such a short life, so much pointless suffering....

All these beautiful kitties... there just isn't enough love and care to go around, I guess. Whatever is done, isn't enough. And my own heart can't take all this pain.  And it's all for nothing.

Some of these kitties are in the calendar. Remember them when you see them. Our memories are all that is left.

As for me, I don't really know if I can do this anymore. Clearly, I'm not really saving anyone. I'm not doing any good. I wish things were otherwise but I would need godlike powers to make things right. But that isn't even close to reality. Instead, my pathetic efforts leave us with little but a collection of little kitty graves and a few memories.... So all that is left is emptiness.

I've tried hard to come up with something nice to say to close this post, but I cannot. It's too sad. These kitties deserved better than what they got. Life is cruel. All I can add is, hollow as it is, they had better lives than most feral cats because they were fed and cared-for.  That's not much but it's something, I guess.


  1. Oh no don't ever doubt yourself. What you are doing is helping. Some of these cats would not even have a life if it weren't for you. I too rescue kitties and sometimes feel like giving up. It is never ending..but we have to keep doing what we can. We can't save them all. As much as I would like to we just can't save all of them. But what we are doing is something. Even if we give a stray kitty just one good day that is something. Don't ever doubt what you are doing. God will bless you too..for what you do. Someone has to help these innocent creatures. At least we are doing our part. Keep up the good work. You are a Beautiful person!

  2. Life *is* cruel, but you're helping so much. It's more than most people would do, and while you can't save everyone, you're doing so much for these cats. Don't give up!

  3. Without you they would've had worse lives indeed!
    You're an awesome person! Thanks so much for helping these animals!

  4. I know its hard... that it is emotionally painful... to feel so powerless to help the way you would like to help. These cats look to you - you are the leader of the pack - DONT GIVE UP !

    You need more patrons and I will try to see how I can help with that- I sent you all i had in my paypal account and have asked other EFA members to do the same. Let's see what miracles can happen today.

    Hang in there, sista'

  5. Thank you all so much. I really appreciate your support. It helps more than you know.

    The losses are tough to bear; I suppose I get too attached. I will also mention that not everyone is supportive and comment moderation is now turned on because of previous nasty, hateful comments (which I deleted). So not everyone agrees that I'm doing the right thing.

  6. You have been an angel to these cats. You are a haven. It is the haven where your love and care has given them more than they would have had otherwise. Having never had a home, they have nothing to compare it to as you do. So you are a home. And in a home there is death, too. To be loved at the end is a great thing. If your passion and love for these kitties remains, then you cannot give up - you won't be able to. You should compile a list of those kitties adopted, too! That would do you good!

  7. Remember how much worse their world would be without you.

    We had a fluffy grey feral cat who came by for take-out every now and then for years. He'd turn up at the back door and wait for me to bring him snacks. Never let me anywhere near him. But when he got sick (FLV), he came to me for help. I made a difference to him. You made a difference to each one of the cats who look to you.

  8. I appreciate your work, and my heart breaks over these losses. Every moment of care you give these animals counts in ways we may never know.

    I am sending my support and have shared this post with everyone I know.


Comments are welcome! I always answer questions if I can.