Throwback to Happier Times

A throwback to Happier times... Two years ago but sometimes feels like forever : a happy Hammie the bobtail cat smiles as he cuddles with me. He was such a sweet boy.

And he isn't the only one we've lost. It's been a rough year but I don't write about these things because there's no point in spreading the pain around. Just this one time, I will - to say that I am grateful for the time we had together. And that is my thanksgiving. This is a remembrance for the kitties who made my life better...

Love your babies. You won't have them forever.

Lucy, Hammie's bobtail sister

Lucy left us, too. Former feral cats often have multiple health problems and although I try my best, I fail way too much. I feel like I failed them, and I'm sorry.

Spot, a tiny cat even as an adult

Spot also left us. He was such a sweet boy, too. His health problems kept him small but he loved his family so much. And I loved him, too.

Katniss

Katniss has a sister who is still here, and seems healthy, thankfully. Her multiple health issues didn't slower down much. Now she is at peace.

I am thankful for having these cats in my life. They made me happier, made my world better. In another, better world, we would still be together. But I don't make the rules,

Thank you, kitties, for making my life better. I hope I did the same for you, while you were here.

Love your kitties. Make the world a better place while you can. Nothing lasts forever.

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Star Cat The Unknown

Taking a nap, soft of, and mostly ignoring me. Star Cat has been featured in so many posts... I took this photo awhile back and kind of didn't want to post it, because posting it means I have to say that Star Cat has been missing lately. I feel very sad about that. He was in good health in general and a happy guy, so I don't know what happened. There are many dangers to being a feral cat. I guess all I can say is, Star Cat, wherever you are, I hope you are happy and have peace.

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TV Cat and Friends

Post dinner nap time, it's TV Cat and some friends, relaxing for a bit while they have full bellies. It isn't always terrible to be a feral cat, at least if you have someone feeding you and looking after your basic needs. It isn't quite as good as being a pet, of course, but then again we should note that not all pets have that great of a life. Some are neglected.

Sometimes pets are loved but taken for granted. You spend time griping about the annoying things they do.  Then one day, they are gone.

Don't do that.

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Sad news to report. Bob's cat Widget died suddenly about 5 AM this morning, of an apparent heart attack. Widgets was well-loved and spoiled. He was smart and affectionate and quite the talker. He had a good life...but much too short.

Bob is very very sad.  Widget will be greatly missed.

R.I.P. Moonpie

Poor little Moonpie. Such a sweet little feral kitten who was captured and became a pet. In his short time with us, he came to love people. His tail quivered with excitement whenever we approached him. You couldn't ask for a sweeter kitten.

The Feral Cat Memorial 2011

At the end of the year, I take some time to remember kitties of have passed away in the last 12 months. It's a very difficult thing to do every year but this year seems even harder. This year's list is shorter than last year's, but the names on it are all too familiar and tragic.

Kay Kay : 1995-2011

 Kay Kay was my sister's cat... the family cat, really. She was originally rescued by my children from abandonment as a kitten. They grew up together. She was a pet and a good kitty, and is missed. At least she had a good life.

Punk Tom - b. 2003-ish  died October 21, 2011

A star in this blog; featured on the cover of the 2009 calendar and appearing frequently ever since, Punk was a unique-looking feral cat. His appearance made him look fierce but he was really a very shy boy. The cause of death is unknown but he was losing weight at the end and spent his last hours in the warmth of the house. Remember him when you see his picture on the calendar: We'll never see his beautiful face again.

Bobtail Tortie - 2004-2011

Appearing in some popular posts, bobtail tortie was the sister of Lowjack, whom we lost last year due to coyote predation. Bobtail was sick before she died, like Punk Tom. Like Punk, she spent her last night indoors - at least she had a little warmth.

Beige Cat - ? to 2011

Next to Punk Tom, she was the most unusual looking cat in the feral colony. We don't know what happened to her but her loss is more than likely due to coyote predation. Another sad end to a unique life.


The others I have to mention in this memorial weren't feral and had too-short lives. They should have had homes, instead they have burial sites. This is why I feel like I can't do this anymore. In fact, it's hard for me to even write about this.

Wishe, Rescued Kitten - lost July 6, 2011

 Poor Wishe, she was the sister of Spot. They were both abandoned and rescued together. Wishe was part Maine Coon and a beautiful cat. We kept her in at night but she was allowed out during the day.  One summer day, she did not return. We hunted and called, to no avail. It broke my heart. She would have been a great pet for someone but she was stuck here - and that cost her everything.

Florida, rescue kitten - April 5, 2011 - November 20, 2011

 Poor little Florida was the sister of Georgia (a tortie) and Squeaky (a tuxedo cat) and the tamest of the bunch. She loved people. She died of unknown causes although we suspect some kind of poisoning. We'll never know. It was all very sudden. She would have been a perfect pet if someone had only cared enough to adopt her. Her sisters Georgia and Squeaky are still here with us.

Feral Kittens

Life is very hard for feral kittens. Disease, possibly feline leukemia, took this entire litter one by one. Most of them were gone before we knew (what with them being feral and all) but we tried very hard to save the last survivor....

Tiny Tabby

 Such a beautiful boy!  I wiped myself out with vet bills and days and nights of care trying to save him - all to no avail. Such a short life, so much pointless suffering....

All these beautiful kitties... there just isn't enough love and care to go around, I guess. Whatever is done, isn't enough. And my own heart can't take all this pain.  And it's all for nothing.

Some of these kitties are in the calendar. Remember them when you see them. Our memories are all that is left.

As for me, I don't really know if I can do this anymore. Clearly, I'm not really saving anyone. I'm not doing any good. I wish things were otherwise but I would need godlike powers to make things right. But that isn't even close to reality. Instead, my pathetic efforts leave us with little but a collection of little kitty graves and a few memories.... So all that is left is emptiness.

I've tried hard to come up with something nice to say to close this post, but I cannot. It's too sad. These kitties deserved better than what they got. Life is cruel. All I can add is, hollow as it is, they had better lives than most feral cats because they were fed and cared-for.  That's not much but it's something, I guess.

The Feral Cat Memorial, 2010

A tradition I sometimes regret starting, this is the post to remember the special furry ones we've lost over the past year. I very nearly didn't do this post, in fact, because it's just too sad. These losses are something I've carried with me throughout the year, generally choosing to not bum-out our reader-family.

This photo blog is about the cats, though, and their lives. They deserve to be remembered, even though it is so hard....  that, I present the ones we knew and lost in 2010...

Shemp, 2003-2010

Shemp was King of the Colony for a long time. More tame than feral, under different circumstances he might have found a home. This spring, we lost Shemp due to cancer.

As someone else observed, nothing gets out of this life alive; the best we can hope for is to have a good life while we are here. I  hope at least he had something of a happy life in the colony and with us. He got handled and petted more than most cats and was brought indoors when he was sick. Shemp is survived by his brother Curly and children Shemp2 and X-Ray Hitler. His memorial page is here.








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Tabby-co, 2009-2010

We lost Tabbyco this year as a result of complication from her spay surgery. She was the only cat I've ever lost in this way. It was really hard to take. While I think of her as a victim of veterinary malpractice, that's probably too harsh. The truth is that sometimes bad things happen, and I guess we just have to accept it.





She was one of the sweetest and smartest of the pure feral cats; always curious and bold. Her memorial page is here. I'll always wonder why her....



The losses I've already talked about are hard enough - the rest are the ones I've kept to myself; too sad to share. It's the part of taking care of feral cats that constantly beats on you... loss after loss. It's hard enough for me and I have to take it because I'm here. I didn't want to burden readers. But for those who feel compelled to know, I present the quiet hearbreaks of this past year.....

R.I.P. Tabbico, Beautiful Feral Cat

We lost Tabbico on or about May 16, 2010 but I didn't find her body until the other day. She died from unknown complications/problems with her spay surgery. Tabbico was one of the smartest and prettiest feral cats in the entire colony....

Tabbico got her name from her coloring. She had a lot of calico coloring, mixed with some tabby stripes. She also had a little bobtail. I've spelled the name Tabby-co and other ways on the blog, I know. Since it was just made-up in my head it didn't really have an official spelling.

What happened...

R.I.P. Shemp, Tuxedo Tom Cat, Friend

Shemp
2002 - 2010

Today Shemp was laid to rest in his home turf. Shemp was the son of the original Gray Cat and littermate/brother of Curly.

Shemp has always been a friendly feral - a barn cat who understood that people could be his friends. When he was young, he was probably adoptable. But since no one came forward to save him, he stayed at the farm and became a regular fixture and the subject of many photographs.

Feral Cat Of The Day - Grandma Tabby Cat

She's older, slower, and maybe a little achy... it's Grandma Feral Cat. This is her "Lifetime Achievement Award" picture.


Almost certainly the oldest surviving cat in the feral colony that I work with. I remember her being an adult cat when I started working with this colony in early 2001. I'm pretty sure that she is over ten years old and maybe as old as 15! Feral cats usually have short, miserable lives so her survival is amazing.

I've noticed lately that she's moving a lot slower. Her half-closed eyes tell me that she isn't feeling quite up to par. Maybe arthritis is setting in. She is an OLD cat. And sometimes she doesn't quite manage to show up at feedings. And each time, I think maybe she's gone... but then she's back at the next feeding.

So far.

- I haven't been posting as much lately because I haven't had interesting photographs to share (speaking strictly from my perspective as an artist; I also know that every feral cat has their own story to tell). I still work with and the ferals twice a day every day. I just don't always have time to photograph them - or my pictures just aren't interesting to me. This one was different.

This photograph was interesting to me because the composition tells a story: An old feral cat looks away, as if remembering her past glory days when she was young and had babies to love and care for. Those days are behind her . ...The dying tree in the background reminds us that nothing is forever, and for each of us - including this elderly kitty - our time eventually comes to an end.

This is the story of Grandma feral cat.